Pest Management Professional, May 2014

off the cuff Will Nepper Managing Editor America vs Germany Non Cockroach Division O ur cover story page 18 based on our popular Face Off features pits the two authors of the Cockroach Combat Manual II Dr Austin Frishman and Paul J Bello against one another They argue for the American cockroach and German cockroach contending which species is the toughest to completely knock out KO In the good natured spirit of the match I offer this six round face off between both countries to see how they size up to one another in a variety of arenas ROUND I Language America Its not easy to judge ones own language objectively but Im going to suggest the English language is easier to learn a bit more melodic and available in multiple regional accents Germany German is not one of those European languages that sound romantic or musical like say Italian or French It seems to employ a lot of throat clearing grunting and implied hostility even when none exists Advantage ROUND II Music America The Yanks win by default because we were wise enough to keep David Hasselhoff where he belongs running in slow motion on the beaches of Baywatch Germany The Germans made Hasselhoff a pop music sensation Advantage ROUND III Sports America Football is the biggest best loved most money infused sport in America We identify ourselves by our college teams memorize players stats and build billion dollar arenas to honor the game In short its a really big deal And if you dont like football U S baseball and basketball fandom is almost as rabid We also have soccer which the rest of the world insists on calling football Germanys favored sport Germany Did you know that the most popular sport to play for American children under 16 is soccer But when they grow up they abandon soccer for football baseball and basketball Surely Germany loves its sports but in America its an allconsuming way of life Advantage ROUND IV Beer America Well folks Im not going to lie This one stings a bit Sure we have more boutique beers micro brews and new adventurous domestic labels than ever before BUT Germany Were talking about Germany What can you do They invented the beer stein and Oktoberfest Meanwhile Americas best selling beer is Bud Light Advantage ROUND V Movies America For better or worse we are the home of the blockbuster the event movie the sequel franchise We invented these concepts and while they dont always serve us The rest of the NBA Bill Gates Steve Jobs Chicago Symphony Orchestra Cleveland Orchestra New York Philharmonic Elvis Chuck Berry Bob Dylan Billie Holiday Louis Armstrong Aretha Franklin etc We humbly concede Thanks for inventing movable type printing Germany Dirk Nowitzki Albert Einstein Berlin Philharmonic David Hasselhoff Johannes Gutenberg well Transformers sequels anyone the bottom line is Germans will line up to see our movies Germany Can you name the last German film you saw Advantage ROUND VI Tube Encased meat foods America The All American hot dog we have such a love hate relationship with it Despite its storied history tying it to everything from backyard family cookouts to afternoon baseball games with Grandpa theres no escaping what we all know to be true about this seasonal summer favorite We love hot dogs but the less we know about them the better Germany In this category Germany scores wurst See what I did there And by that I mean they come out on top because of their wide variety Since the brautwurst is a well known part of German cuisine I imagine their meat tubepacking standards are a little higher than ours Advantage You can reach Nepper at wnepper@ northcoastmedia net or 216 706 3775 8 May 2014 Pest Management Professional www mypmp net